minutes to murder

Ever wondered how you felt, when you know your going to go to die. Imagine a guy with a .45 barrel down his throat, that split second before he knows its really gonna damn hurt. Yeah... I hope I don't go through that. But I know I will when the time comes.

Its amazing what we would do, to avoid pain. But thinking about it, isn't it amazing what we would do knowing that we are gonna get damn hurt. Why do we do it? Is it to prove that we are strong, or maybe it's just to prove that we can do it. Or maybe its just to feel alive. To hear a voice, to realize a dream. Oh damn, I could come with a million suggestions, and someone out there can relate to at least one of them. Why do we do it? I ask again.

Its almost time. And I'm going to do it again. I fuckin dunno. Maybe it's just because, I should be nice. To make up for past blunders I guess. I simply don't have a reason. My brain doesn't seem to be working these days, specially when it needs to run at full throttle. I think it's just to be nice. I'm not evil. And I don't want to be. At least not to people who don't deserve it.

Confused. I think that's an understatement. There should be another word for this. I think someone on crack would feel better than this. Oh well, it's time. So let's get it over with.

Bang.